jimak&bandaraya

why illustration?

2008-04-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

So i know its been a reaaaally long time since i wrote in my blog. I couldnt make it a regular thing because of inconsistent internet connections, but things have changed, DiGi has created the internet Sim Card which could connect to the computer through your phone. I cannot begin to explain my gratitude to the growth of technology throughout the years.yay!

Anyway the reason why i'm writing this post is because my English lecturer wanted me to write an essay as to why i chose Illustration as a major in my Diploma. Its funny how my other classmates only had to write in point form of their major course but i had to write an essay. Well im not really complaining, i like writing essays. especially when i can throw my lecturer off.ahahahaahaha.

She likes to give us essays to write, but ends up asking for less than a hundred words. how many paragraphs can you get out of that?i feel bad for my classmates because she dropped the standard so low that they don't try to raise the bar. i can understand that they feel awkward when they try to speak in English because they don't want to sound funny.Its like how i am self conscious whenever i talk in general.but we learn from each other,thats the good part.i have a classmate from Taiwan who speaks VERY VERY little English that i actually communicate with her through sign language. she's hell of a character. =D

so anyway, my lecturer felt bad for me cuz she sees potential in my writing when she read my first essay,so she raised the bar for me.id love to get your opinions so i could improve myself.thanks.

---------Why Illustration?---------

Throughout my 19 years of living on this planet, I have come to learn that I see art through my eyes. I have seen and experienced a lot in the art of living, loving, people, the beauty and the bad of everything, and with that I have learned to accept it with open arms. Theories and philosophies have come up in my head that I decided to pursue a Diploma in Illustration.

In a nutshell, Illustration is a cross between fine art and graphic design. It is more difficult to complete the course because of the workload and if an artist cannot handle that pressure, they could have the tendency of believing that they will have a short life before reaching the mid-life crisis phase. I am doing it to prove to myself that I am not a failure, nor am I a quitter, even though I have had a few minor and severe breakdowns, and have trouble controlling my procrastination issue.

I believe that Surrealism has played a big role in my life and in the way I see illustration. Surrealism is usually unexplainable in the form of a visual artwork, and highly likely not to be understood by the naked eye of the untrained mind. Therefore, the reason why I chose illustration is because it is the best way of expressing my art without offending the society that surrounds me, unless of course if it was an obvious controversial matter and my intentions were to offend them.

As my mind grows throughout the years, I learn to relate my philosophies in life with Illustration. For these philosophies to be revealed on a piece of paper is quite shameful really because society would not take much time into looking at it, but if you are a keen and curious reader then I shall continue writing. My first and main philosophy in life is to live it to the fullest and to learn to accept and appreciate everything including the “excrement” (don’t say sh**).

This first philosophy is the guide to learn other philosophies and to conclude your own different theories of life so you could achieve your “universal highness” – which is your subconscious sanctuary. Understanding this has made me realize that life has been neglected, abused, unloved, misunderstood, and above all, unappreciated. I cried on the day I made that discovery, and so I lied down by the lake and watched the sun rise as I looked at the different colours I could see. Somehow my soul, my mind, and my aura changed into a different colour and a new element was added to it. I found some peace in my mind that I learned to appreciate until today.

A big chain reaction of theories just started springing out of my mind as I learned to see things in every perspective possible, and just as I expected, the good and the bad began to creep its head out, and now I have to choose between “the magical, most self-gratifying” or “the logical, painfully blunt” answers whenever I ask a question. After discovering that, I learned to keep my mouth shut for a while and didn’t ask myself or anyone anything. But if you stop being a curious cat then you’re stopping your life there and at that very moment.

To see life in every perspective is a major challenge for everyone, because at the end of the day you would still have to make a one side decision, whether it is the right or the wrong it is still up to you. When one is fickle minded, that makes things a whole lot more difficult. My theory to make it simpler for myself is to follow the heart if it would lead you to happiness, and to follow your brain to protect it. It has helped me in most situations, although I still get annoyed with people if they can’t decide what to eat and ask for my opinion instead (it doesn’t help).

These theories and philosophies have an important meaning in my life, and it is to discover the truth behind everything. Everyone knows that sometimes the truth may hurt a lot, but I learned that the truth will set you free and it makes you a stronger person when you face more obstacles in the future. How are you to move forward if you keep avoiding the truth and make excuses for everything bad that happens in your life? I won’t be a hypocrite and say that I have never or stopped making excuses for myself, but the fact that I have made a self realization about this, I already have moved 2 steps forward.

If I were to write all my theories and philosophies I might have to hand in a short story and you would lose the idea as to why I chose Illustration as a major in my Diploma in the first place. You see, Illustration is like any other painting, sculpture, or a masterpiece, but still expressed personally instead of handing the artwork in the hands of technology/computers which mankind have often succumbed to after they learned that there is an easier way out. I choose my hands as my medium to express my art, my truth to society if they could read, or understand it.

I have never been ungrateful to any critique I have received in my life for as long as I could remember because not everyone could learn to appreciate and accept my art. That’s the beauty of it, because you learn to appreciate the truth, to empathize people, and to have thick skin when you think that the dog is biting hard. It has not turned me into a heartless wench; I am still emotional and sensitive, just more cautious of the obstacles in life. This is not the end of my lesson, it is merely the beginning. It is my guideline to reach universal highness, and to live life to the fullest.

Table for ONE plus one.(30/4/07)

2007-05-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

It is a cloudy day in KL during rush hour,where people are getting busy getting on to the trains, getting stuck in traffic (particularly at Jalan Tun Abdul Razak, Jalan Raja Chulan, etc etc. I'm not the traffic news) and walking by the streets buying keropok lekor and goreng pisang. Some of us try hard to avoid the hustle and bustle of rush hour so we just sit ourselves at either Santini, Starbucks, Coffee Bean, or Dome at KLCC. Funny thing happened, I bumped into my aunt who was sitting by herself sipping her coffee. I didn't mind sitting with her at the beginning, but 30 minutes and a cup of hot chocolate later, i was itching to find an excuse to go to the toilet and lighting myself a cigarette. Note to self: Restraining order or stop smoking.

At the other side of town, Lil was having her cigarette break one after the other and couldn't wait till she gets her paycheck and her last day at work.We talked on the phone recently and we were trying to figure out why the sudden change in the stars when the two of us didn't feel that fabulous anymore. I think recent events did shut us down a little bit, and Lil is in dire need of a drinking night out. I was told by a friend that someone was selling 3 litres worth of alcohol for ONLY RM250! Any takers? It sure as hell is a major ass bargain if you ask me.

How unfortunate, my bubble of thought just disappeared as i recalled that i have about 11 assignments due in a month, and I'd be suicidal if I keep drinking every weekend. Its a good change. I'm restraining myself. But if i'm not mistaken, I'll be going out this Saturday anyways. =)

On the next jimakandbandaraya: 49 bachelors at OU.

The INEVITABLE

2007-05-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

Topic: The Inevitable – Haircut (You Have “A” Nice Hair)

Everyone knows that life gradually changes. Be it for the better or the worse, it is still inevitable. The once before jobless 18 year old girl started college at Stamford (of all places) and is finally getting her life back on track filled with new knowledge, new friends, minus a boyfriend and or lover. Her life really changed after the dramatic phone call she had with Turtle about a few months ago, and to her surprise (and a lot of other people) life has never been this great. The sky in KL seems sunny and blue, and when it rains, it’s the perfect time to go out for a run.

At the other side of town, a group of HELP students are still cramming their brains for their upcoming exams, yet still have their spontaneous beer meetings. A certain someone has been eyeing girls, but still hasn’t made much effort to make a move. All he could say was: “ I shy lah Jenny…” The most drastic change for him: His haircut ( he’s got bald/ carpet hair). I guess one gets sick of their hairstyle after a while, so they decide to have a different look. I should know, I gave myself bangs. =)

It got me thinking, when we decide to change our lives, does it involve changing our appearance? I noticed that a few of my friends have been going through life changing experiences, and most of them changed their hairstyle. From fringe to bangs, long to short, “karat” to black, long to short, and Mohawk to carpet hair. I suppose we believe in our hair, because it keeps growing even when you go through everything, like happy times, sad times, dramatic times, and even when you’re stressed. Your hair says it all when you’re having a good day, and like most depressed teenagers, they decide to cut it when they’re feeling E-MO.

New Topic: The Inevitable – Relationship ( Check please, table 4)

After careful consideration, thought, and about 30 opinions from different people we have discovered a way for CERTAIN people to go back into the dating world after going through a bad relationship and or breakup. This is especially made for the readers who keep telling me the same thing:

a)“ I shy lah…”
b)“ I have no time, I have to study”
c)“ Will you stop hassling me? He’s got a problem too! Tell him to do it!”

Well, we all know we can’t force ourselves into a relationship, so keep your options open, go with the flow, and the wind might take you to places you never thought of going:

a)A party with hot chicks/ guys.
b)The backseat of someone’s car.
c)An unforgettable date.
d)Or if you could spare some cash/ mulas/ dosh/ clams, you’d be in Langkawi. ( Air Asia are selling tickets at cheap prices! “Now EVERYONE can fly.”) =)

When it comes to starting off (if you find someone interesting), take them out on a DATE. Frankly speaking, the age span from 16-22, using the term “boyfriend/ girlfriend” is a bit overrated. Personally, I believe that term is only suitable if you could see yourself being with that person for a year and above. At that age, one should have fun, live life, and stop acting like their married to the person when they’ve only been in the relationship for 2 months. It is not your time to go to “the deep end”, you have about 6 years to go. I hope this could open people’s eyes a little bit. Because some of us are just sick of the lovey dovey, P.D.A. couples, who claim that they love each other, and only end up dating for 3 months.

Step 1: When interested in someone, get to know them a little bit, pick up signs whether he/she is interested. Then push yourself out the door and ask them out. If rejected, just say “ That’s cool…” and start another topic. (Flirting time span: 2 weeks- 1 ½ month)

Step 2: - (First Date) Keep it simple, because the second you spoil the girl with expensive presents, she’ll be expecting it most of the time (I’m not degrading or stereotyping women, its just plain true).
- Get to know him/ her better. P.D.A. –ing is not appropriate because you might be coming on a bit too strong or you’ll get sick of doing that with him/her later.
- End the date with a peck on the cheek, and another invitation (only if you had a good time)

Step 3: (Second Date) Since the ice is already broken, this is a good time to take him/ her to a place where you could talk and get to know more about them. At this stage it is ok to hold hands and to hug, but NO KISSING. If you like the person and decide to continue, ask for another invitation.\

Step 4: (Third Date) This date is crucial, because at the end it, he/ she is expecting the FIRST KISS. It doesn’t have to happen if you’re not ready. Note: Research says that the first kiss will tell if you’re going to further your relationship with that person. So be prepared with BREATH MINTS. NO lollipop licking. Try not to “make out” so much if you could resist.

Step 5: (Fourth Date) At this point, you’re already used to the person, and you can tell if you wouldn’t mind continuing seeing him/ her. Take your date out to lunch or dinner and be yourself when you’re EATING. Its good to know if your date could handle seeing you eat (whether its neat or sloppy). Try not to have a title if you’re not ready for commitment. But the thing you must do is to be yourself and HAVE FUN!

Important Note: Dating time span (3 weeks- 2 ½ months)

I hope this has enlightened you to a different style of dating instead of the usual one, but don’t expect of getting laid. That would be a different thing. =)

When it comes to sitting down at Starbucks in KLCC, you can’t help but see your old friends there ordering their usual iced chocolate or macchiato. I bumped into my dear friend, he used to work there and complained on how he couldn’t sit there and enjoy a cigarette and just watch people go by. Now that he’s resigned, he can’t stop complaining on why the same people keep turning up and needs a change of scenery. His current beau, a hot guy with the legendary “girth” was busy on the laptop designing web pages. We sat together and enjoyed our drinks, the sky was beautiful, and so were the guys walking by. And there came the inevitable question, “ So who’s your current boyfriend?” It took me a while to answer that, and the answer I gave him was, “ Takde makne k?”

Somewhere in Ampang, Lil was busy receiving messages from her new sayang. They’re not official yet, but she has had her preview of what might come in the future. Lil’s current song on the playlist: John Legend’s P.D.A. ( We Just Don’t Care). When I saw her in college the other day she was giggling like nobody’s business, and complained an hour later that her jaw hurts after smiling too much. As we were having our lunch, she was explaining on how affectionate her current sayang was. His behavior amazed me, especially when I heard that he didn’t mind being affectionate with her among his friends. The guy of every girl’s dreams or just plain too good to be true?

New Topic: The Inevitable – Angelina Jolie & Jessica Alba ( CLEO’s 50 Bachelors)

As most CLEO readers know, every year they have their 50 Bachelors competition and I am proud to say that SOMEONE I know has been nominated! We were looking through the contestants and turns out a few of the What Women Want contestants were also nominated. I don’t see the point of the winner being in there though, I still wasn’t satisfied with the results. We know what women really want, but that’s just called stereotyping.

The winner of the competition will receive goodies worth RM21,000, but I’m proud to say that the only thing that Raz was eyeing was the title for “Bachelor You’d Most Like To Chill With”, all for the Tiger Beer prizes! The guy isn’t big headed, he just loves his beer. I’d vote if I had enough credits on my phone. Such a shame though, the Bachelor Bash are for people above 21 years old. I’d attempt on sneaking in but I wouldn’t want to make so much effort. I’d rather go to the Preview at 1 Utama.

Again, the choices aren’t that interesting, I don’t know what they’re really looking for in a bachelor nowadays. It’s probably the contestant’s career path and what not. Looks just aren’t important anymore, so they would depend on their friends to vote for them. But honestly speaking, voting a Bachelor based on the photo and reading their answers to the questions they were given is a little unconvincing for me. I have calculated that 7 bachelors have chosen Angelina Jolie as the girl that they would like to wake up next to. A few of them chose Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, and Kate Beckinsale. Known fact that these women are really hot, I can’t help but feel like poop (I’m having an “ugly” day). And I still don’t see why 2 bachelors want to wake up next to H.T. I’d rather the guy who chose Oprah Winfrey. =)

Well, congratulations to the nominated contestants and good luck! Choose wisely when it comes to voting, I don’t want it to be like the What Women Want series. Vote for Raz so he could win his beers and if you’re above 21 then you’re lucky enough to enter Zouk KL.

New Topic: The Inevitable – “Keangauan” (Intoxication and Under the Influence)

When it comes to getting into the beginning of a relationship, one can’t help it if they have that “butterflies-in-the-stomach”, intoxicated, or that “keangauan” feeling. It happens to everyone without a doubt, because that’s the feeling that pushes that person to take a step forward into pursuing a relationship. For some strange reason, this particular feeling is spreading around lately like flies at a warong.

Somewhere at Jalan Setiaraya, a guy is lying in bed, wondering as to why he didn’t pick up the phone when his current crush called. As an automatic reaction, he messages the 18 year old girl who was in Serdang, saying that he wasn’t surprised if he let her down, but he was just plain nervous. His current crush, one of his college mates from HELP, was a sweet, artistic, funny person. I approved him going after her when I met her at his birthday dinner. She seemed like his kind of girl, so I have been nudging him to call or ask her out. In return, I get either a cock stare or just a plain, “I shy lah…”

A few days ago, he mustered up the courage and asked her out for lunch. Unfortunately, they had to postpone it. I suppose that kind of made him lose a bit of his confidence, thinking that he got shut down, but cheer up ol’ buddy, take her out anyway and show her a great time. Note: No and I mean NO shy shy business!

At the other side of town, Lil had a hard time on figuring out what her “sayang” wanted from her. It seemed that everyone already has assumed that they were together, which is not surprising really, especially if they were P.D.A. – ing in front of everyone. But put aside all those questions, and Lil was as intoxicated as a monkey on medications. She couldn’t have felt any more angau than she already did.

Unfortunately, as predicted by most of us, including herself, this guy was too good to be true. Turns out he was just another one of your heart breakers who doesn’t seem to care about other people’s feelings. It shot Lil’s spirit like no one’s business, making her feel as though life was miserable all over again. Lucky for her, I can never pull off a cute white top and a mini skirt when I’m feeling miserable.

I saw her when she was working at Habib, which is on sale till the 3rd of May by the way. I wanted to wait for her to go on a break, but she was busy handling a customer and I was busy ogling at a pendant which would go well with any outfit I wore. It looks a bit too much but it simply looked fabulous. She told me that the “heart breaker” visited her at work and was acting really flirty. Now let me tell you what happened, this guy however sweet he seems, is still a complete asshole. Like I said he was really affectionate and lovey dovey towards Lil, but after a while he starting being distant and told Lil’s friend that he didn’t have feelings for her and just took it a bit too far. When Lil found out it clearly crushed her heart, but now he’s acting like he didn’t say those things. Asshole? I think YES!

So to my darling Lil and to those who are going through the same thing, know that you are fabulous, and don’t layan this sort of crap. At the end of the day, they are going to realize that they miss your company and come crawling back to you. Unless of course if they start seeing other people or you ended pulling a psycho card. Don’t feel upset if he’s just not into you, go out and get a makeover. Or maybe binge on something from Habib. =)

*to the inevitables- and those who still believe.\

cheers!
-dhn-

The Last Weekend

2007-04-02T01:22:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived an 18 year old girl in Serdang who only wished for good health,good wealth,a good career,and a great relationship. The serial smoking and weekend drinking didn't really help on the first wish,unless she decided to invest in nicotine patches which is a very unlikely thing to happen. That also effects on the second wish,the constant cigarette and liquor buying was killing her RM 50 allowance,so she always frowns everytime she passes a shoe shop when she sees her dream shoes on sale.Having a good career is never easy especially when she doesn't have the qualifications and hasn't even started college yet after taking a whole year and a half off doing practically nothing productive.But her luck was looking up when a guy came into her life from out of nowhere.From that moment on,she was blinded by all the good qualities that he had,instead of seeing the worst.He is what i would like to call: The Womaniser In The Body Of A 19 Year Old Pothead. Harsh to say,yes? But one can't help it after he had sucked out all the happiness out of a person and called her a liar when she was confronted by his CURRENT girlfriend. This is not an angry blog.I am just hoping that i could reach out to everyone to either inspire them or make them learn something. I'll make it short and simple, don't cheat or you'll get it. Its KARMA. And shit will happen to you.

Con't Topic: Friday Night At Heritage Row (30/3)

It had been 2 weeks after the BIG letdown,and so I decided to go out and have a fabulous time with my dear friends at Bangsar despite the fact that i was surfing the crimson wave. It was my second day, so one could imagine the pain in my womb and or uterus. We had cendol and rojak for lunch (along Jalan Beringin if you're interested), then we spent hours talking at Devi's Corner bitching and moaning. That was where i saw THE CAR. The car with the driver and a passenger.2 people that i had been dreading to see.After that incident,period decided to be a bitch so we went to Toys 'R' Us and i bought a bottle of bubble soap. Ms. Jay's exact words when he saw me purchasing it was, " Oh my God, Dee. You have GOT to be kidding me!We're not 6 ok?" Ten minutes later,after blowing the bubbles we were all taking turns and Papa hogged it for quite a bit.

All 4 of us were in the car on the way to a park where we got stopped by the cops,after Ms. Jay missed the red light. The boys at the back were taking photos of the cop standing by his car, Ms. Jay was trying to bargain for a discount, and i was making small-talk with the cop about the "Saya ANTI Rasuah" badge. For a second there, I actually thought we got stopped because i was blowing bubbles out the window. But after carefully thinking about it (and the boys were all saying "No way-lah"), it would be a very stupid reason. Imagine, we had big billboards saying, "NO BLOWING BUBBLES ON THE STREETS". Everyone would leave the country.

We stopped at this park near The Attic, where 4 teenagers blew bubbles, took pictures and videos,and got stuck in the little ride with the spring (note to self: only meant for children below the age of 7,or any size smaller than Turtle's little brother).Out of nowhere, 3 little boys joined in on the bubble catching, and i had to play mother for about half an hour. Yanou said, "Whoever her kids are, they are pretty damn lucky." I smiled to myself, and turned to Ms. Jay. If there was a song to play at that moment it would be...FEEEEELLLIIIIINGGGG....but what a Friday in the day. Perfect Soundtrack for a day like that: Stardust- Music Sounds Better With You.

Current Song On Playlist: Some Fengtau shit at this cyber cafe.

Life couldn't get any better at that point, but it did. My siblings and I ended up at Heritage Row,and i only had a cigarette left and rm2 in wallet. Who would have thought that girls could live with that and end up getting quite tipsy with all the cigarettes she could smoke?Interesting topic. I would really like to see a guy pulling that off without getting beaten up (dedicated to Ms. Jay). Bar Blonde was full that night for some strange reason. And in the eyes of the 18 year old girl, Bar Blond was FILLED with really really cute guys. A thought crossed her mind where she was probably too blinded by Turtle before that she didn't notice, OR...summer is coming soon!Which would be fabulous, all the expats are coming in and things are going to get hot in KL!

Note: Never wear a very low top with the wrong bra, and if any sort of alcoholic drinks spill on you, wash immediately to avoid people thinking that you just threw up on yourself.

This will be the last weekend i am free. No harm in going all out,right?
Cheers to those who are having and need drinks.

-dhn-

The BIG Letdown 21/3

2007-03-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

Topic 1: St. Patrick's Day!!

In every country, they have their special unique holidays that are celebrated in other places thousands of miles from home. Last Saturday,the pubs and clubs in KL brought the Irish people a little piece of home when we celebrated St. Patrick's Day! The beers were selling at ridiculous prices,so cheap that they make Todi look like a can of Budweiser selling at your local liquor store.3 siblings and a bunch of close friends celebrated St. Pat's Day at Hartamas Square, where they found banners that read, "Drink Up!It's St. Pat's Day!" or "Think You're Irish?See How Far You Can Go With Jugs Of Beer At RM12!!" Clearly at that night,the cops had a handful of people arrested after they failed the breathalizer test. People joked that the cops at Brickfields were having their own St. Pat's celebration. I wouldn't know for sure, I was too busy comparing beer prices.

New Topic: Drinking Corner & Cheap Laughs

All seemed normal for the next few days. An 18 year old girl in Serdang stayed at home to paint,while her bestfriend in Ampang was busy with her classes and thinking hard about the guy she had been flirting with for the past week or so. On the other side of town, a group of HELP students were recovering from their recent test results and planning a spontaneous drinking party.

My good friend (who i used to refer to as Ms.Jay) had called me up saying that he would need to drink to put him to sleep, and on the other side, my bestfriend, Lil said that she wouldn't mind drinking at that moment and explained of her free access to liquor at her dad's place (jealous..), and i was drinking a little too much at the Harith Iskander Stand Up Comedy. Seeing as the fact that I had seen it before, the tickets were complimentary, and they were only serving drinks before the show,i missed 90% of the show,and spent my time standing by the bar, refilling drinks one after the other, trying to keep a straight face.

One could usually hold on to their drinks, but on that fateful night, I couldn't hold on to the same glass for more than 10 minutes. There he was,in red (soon to be redder after a few glasses of free beer) looking at me at the most awkward state anyone could ever imagine. We were both watching the same show, with easy access to free booze, and both our families showed up. I sure as hell wouldn't say it was your good "future meminang" session, especially after Turtle's dad asked me as i was drinking, "Eh, I thought the 2 of you weren't in talking terms? What is this i heard that you fought because of his girlfriend?" I wanted to die on the spot or maybe strangle anyone who heard it. Turtle apologised politely, I ignored him, downed my half full glass, and asked the bartender, "can i get another one?more whisky,less coke." An hour later, I wouldn't have noticed if Britney Spears had run around in circles screaming "I AM THE ANTI CHRIST!".

As i said, I missed most of the show. I ended up knicking off a few cans of beer which are still hidden in my closet, and after i write this blog with the conclusion of what happened within that week, my fingers should be itching to pull the key of the can. It didn't end so well for Turtle and I...Lil and Ms.Jay should know,I sent them vital messages about him at 6am.

Continuing Topic: Womaniser In A Body Of a 19 Year Old Pothead

It is a harsh world for this 18 year old,especially after she encountered a real womaniser in a body of a 19 year old pothead. Honestly speaking it is her fault for carrying on a relationship with this guy especially after knowing his background...but to be fair it does take 2 to tango. So a few days after the Harith Iskander Stand Up Comedy ( it was good stuff i heard),she received a call at 4am,feeling utterly depressed and decided to come clean.But when she asked Turtle, all he could say is "I AM LIVING LIFE". If you can actually put your hand through the receiver,his head would be pulled off.Lucky for him, technology is not so creative. Anyway, turns out, Turtle never had feelings for her, but said "i miss the times that we had together..." Excuse me, my dear friend. Can you make life easier for people?Stop being so bleeding fickle and tell the bleeding truth! 2 minutes later after being ticked off he says harshly, "You know what?I take that back!" Easy. Fin.

So there it is, the harsh ending of Turtle and I. I do admit that i behaved like an idiot at one point. Although i do not regret all the things i have said to him. I have learnt my mistakes,insisting to avoid it if it had to ever cross my path, and i learnt that you do become what you hate. So now we say "pity", not HATE. I feel free now that i have my life back. Life is absolutely fabulous. I never realised that you could actually see cute guys walking down the street looking right at you. I had a good week after that Wednesday morning. Free booze on ladies night, new friends, old friends, and a really cute guy i met behind the camera. =)

- I am Plato, a thinker, and a dreamer.

Coming Up: The definition of a womaniser.

dhn

Night Out In KL

2007-03-15T05:15:00.000-07:00

some people believe that when the weekend comes,something interesting is bound to happen.whether you're out clubbing and you happen to meet someone new and interesting,or maybe meet someone you havent seen in a very very long time.i received a phone call from my ex boyfriend,Ed asking me to join him at heritage row JUST because his cousin came down from New Zealand.a motive behind all this?i wouldnt know. I declined the invitation. So the weekend is almost here.The only thing im interested in is to sit at home and have a blackadder marathon.how ironic...they have the same first name.Besides, this coming saturday i might be able to get a job for this company affiliated with Atrium and the challenge is to bring as many girls as possible above the age of 18.Anyone interested?

Last week on Saturday,my good friend Nizam celebrated his 21st birthday there. Syamir,Yanou,Papa and i chipped in some cash and bought him 21 presents. We werent exactly being cheap,just creative. Below is the list of 21 presents he received:

1. A little man with a penis light bulb
2. An ashtray
3. A pack of Sampoerna
4. A lighter
5. A cheap colourful tie
6. A sketch book
7. Marker pens
8. Rolling paper
9. Maltesers
10. Toblerone
11. Bites
12. A razor
13. Aftershave
14. A pack of tasty condoms
15. A deck of cards
16. Key chains
17. Cotton socks
18. A brown bracelet
19. Hotlink top-up rm10
20. A cheap cigar
21. The red paperbag that holds all these items together.

Note: If you plan on pulling this off, follow these tips:

a. Make a budget and stick to it
b. Select items that suits the characteristics of the receiver.
c. Shop at your local malls,things are usually way cheaper. I should know,i bargained like crazy.
d. If you plan on giving chocolates, put them in the refridgerator first.
e. if the birthday boy/girl is planning to get pissed drunk that night,make sure you put it in their car first to avoid missing items.

We had a really good night that night.Nizam and Syamir, as we predicted got pissed drunk. I made alot of new friends from HELP and i managed to get myself a job interview when i already wasnt thinking straight. I spent 40% of the night by the bar, watching another friend of mine work his magic in making one of the best long island ice teas in heritage row. After he slipped a few glasses in front of me, i was already making new friends (people who were standing next to me by the bar) and out of nowhere a guy (probably reaching his 30's)came up to me and said "Hey,aren't you Raelene's friend?i couldve sworn that i saw you at her party last few weeks." Luckily he didnt get it wrong. We chatted for a bit and (as he would say) in common courtesy he bought me 2 more rounds of long island ice tea. We ended up coming across a suitable topic for this blog. "What are the suitable pick up lines for meeting women at a club".

I discussed this among my girlfriends, bi and/or straight. They came up with a whole list of things that they've heard men say to them as a pick up line. I know this doesnt really involve gay people, but the things that they say to each other is pretty funny.=)

This is a list of pick up lines that actually have been used before.i made it a point to tick out the no-no's.

Pick-up Lines Commonly Used At Parties and/or Clubs:

pick-up line no.1
Hey, how's it going? You having a good time? -typical and honest...probably one of the most decent ones

pick-up line no.2
Hey,i see that you're sitting/standing here alone...need some company? - maybe theres a reason to why im alone...because i WANT to be alone

pick-up line no.3
Aren't you (a name)'s friend? - Too common

pick-up line no.4
and if they actually get it wrong they would say "oh i couldve sworn you were (a name)'s friend. But oh well,im sure youre an even more interesting person than her." - no loss for that girl...youre being abit too judgemental

pick-up line no.5
You know,i had to muster up alot of courage just to get me to come up to you to say hi...so...hi... - very cute...it would be better if the guy was cute.

pick-up line no.6
hey there beautiful, need a friend? - that sounds a bit too corny and cocky..what makes you think we'll be friends with you?

pick-up line no.7
Hey, could you light up my cigarette for me please?cuz i think youre on fire. - what the hell are you thinking?

pick-up line no.8
its similar to the one above but only decent men would say this "Hey, you got a light?" and after lighting it up they would say the next pick upline no.9 - the guy could just be asking for a light

pick-up line no.9
so, do you come here often? - common but it starts up a conversation

pick-up line no.10
i like that top you're wearing,where did you get it from? - youd come across as being gay or perverted. mind you, looking at a girl's top would automatically make them think youre after one thing. besides,youre probably actually staring at her breasts

pick-up line no.11
hey beautiful,need a ride home? - dont even think youd get a girl home...unless if theyre bohsias then its a different story.

pick-up line no.12
you know,i'd ask you to dance with me but im scared your boyfriend might beat me up. - thats the somewhat cute and decent way to find out if the girl is single or not.

pick-up line no.13
hey there pretty lips. - ik...

pick-up line no.14
you know its funny,i noticed you from across the room hours ago...you seem like an interesting person. - interesting in what way may i ask?

pick-up line no.15
hey...so hows life? - youd only get a longer conversation if the person is tipsy/friendly/recently got out of a relationship (and as a result you will end up listening to someone complain on how shitty men really are)

Conclusion: for girls,its nice to know that they look good...but make sure you think of something decent and nice to say to them before opening your mouth...i seriously advice for you to stick to pick-up line no.1 because honestly speaking, KL is running out of decent, straight,and single men.

Currently on playlist : The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony

So for men who reads this...please please...act more decent.women might let their guard down a little more if you do. They probably would. All the good ones are either taken, gay, or both.

-For those who believe that there is hope. Cheers.

-dhn-

Table For 1

2007-02-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

It is a beautiful day in KL as i sit at starbucks,hours before i actually wake up.So with nothing better to do,i just by myself, sip on my hot chocolate, and watch people around me go by. Not to my surprise, starbucks is already full even at 10.45am, but seeing as the fact that it is still early, 95% of them are in black blazers with their briefcases and laptops (a.k.a. YUPPIES).

You hardly see anyone my age up this early at starbucks. Probably because they have better things to do,so i just keep looking at my watch, praying that time goes by faster than waiting fir my darling divas get ready to go clubbing. It seems like a normal day, i over hear business proposals, stock exchange, the current news on CNN,people comparing on how morbid CNN can be than al-Jazeera, office gossips, etc etc. I happen to enjoy over hearing (not eavesdropping) when it comes to office gossips. Today's gossip: someone in some office is secretly trying to get together with the boss' secretary who apparently dresses "worse than *HT". "What in God's name does he see in her?" Bla bla bla..."The HR is a load of crap" bla bla bla..."can't wait for pay day" bla bla bla..."the office boy is cute but rumour has it he's gay" bla bla bla..."those shoes are so last season,why is she still wearing them?", and the gossips go on and on.

Naturally i'd just sit there and pretend that i'm not listening to their conversation,and i try so hard to keep myself from laughing by their hypocritical remarks and comments on the way people dress. I mean, HELLO. You say she dresses like "your typical L.A. Asian chick from Tokyo Drift", but YOU happen to be wearing something quite similar to what *HT wore a few weeks ago on tv!I dont see that much of a difference, and mind you, if you are already wearing a heavily pattered shirt (i'd like to add the fabric was silk), try avoiding horizontal striped pants (this goes for the woman sitting next to the *HT wannabe). We all judge,i admit that. But before we do, let's make sure we're not being hypocritical about it.=)

Speaking of fashion, as im observing the styles in the Feb issue of CLEO, mod is actually making a comeback (fashion is going backwards). It is hard for someone my size to pull it off.I dont have long skinny legs like Twiggy. I think i'd rather stick to the 40s-50s, thanks. I dont think i need reminding that i am not really tall and a few kg's overweight. I'm still proud of my curves. I think if Marilyn Monroe and Beyonce can pull it off then why can't i? I look up to my sister when it comes to fashion. She may be big, but shes happy and still fashionable. Sometimes i wonder...what makes one look slim?cutting,fabric,colour,patterns,or accessorising? Stampford says," It's all about confidence darling, just consider yourself lucky that you don't have a big ass like me". That's cute Stanny. But we all know you could pull THAT off.Shake it baby!you are FIIIEEEERRRRCCCEEEEEE!!!!=D

-I'll give you a WILD guess who *HT is...=)

A few days ago, I had been on the phone with a really good friend of mine. We spent about an hour catching up with life,with an additional hour of bitching, followed by the inevitable topic...relationships (note: he is as straight as a ruler).

We were discussing about recent events for our relationship lives. The BREAK UP, and it got me thinking...how long does it actually take for someone to move on with their lives after breaking up with the supposed mr./ms.right? I had always thought that females were the only ones who take a longer time to get over their exes. To my biggest surprise, I was wrong. My good friend was telling me on how hard it was for him to move on up till a point where he just couldnt give a damn anymore. All i could do is be mad at Turtle.=s

I didnt really calculate the duration of his break-up, but it seemed like it has been quite a loong time.Known fact, that he is a really really sweet guy, so how come it takes a long time for him to get over it and go out with somebody else? I'm pretty sure my close friends who reads this will tell me "speak for yourself", which is true. I had a relationship with M officially for a week an i still find myself thinking about him after almost a year since we had a thing together.Paris said: " Come on dee...all you want from M is for it to turn from EX to SEX!Betul tak?" =)

So back to the question...how long is it supposed to take for one to get over their ex?Open to men and women,unless sex (without emotions) was a daily routine in their lives. I have found that m darling divas avoid relationships. Completely impressed by the fact that they somewhat prevent getting their hearts broken, yet, at the same time, they still enjoy staring and flirting at hot men that women can't their hands on. Life sucks for that.I have a feeling Hafiz might win for the show "What Women Want". I need to start a petition, who believes that he is.._ _ _ ???

Honestly speaking...that would be the saddest thing if he won.I mean just because he's soft spoken, sensitive,non violent, and probably good enough to bring back to your parents, this is already stereotyping on what women REALLY want!It would be sad to know what a woman really wants is a gay man.It kills hope for all. And another thing, his english...BURN!why oh why do you do this to us?can't you see that youre stating a FACT of what women really want is actually a STRAIGHT man with gay characteristics? In that case i can go for my darling divas lah?that will give them the shock of their lives!

Topic: Zsa Zsa Zsu. To Forget Or Not To Forget?

The whole zsa zsa zsu feeling when two people get together truly is unforgettable. The stars in your eyes, the butterflies in your stomache, the sparks in the air, your heat beats faster than normal, and the expression on your face like when Stampford sees Chanel on sale(50-70% OFF). After that phase ends in a relationship,it hurts to let go of the good memories and fun times you've had. Apparently it takes longer depending on what the scale of zsa zsa zsu you were feeling. I would rate mine with Turtle 15/10. However mad i am at him,i still find it hard not to think about him.I still love him.I guess i always will.

Conclusion: Maybe you really can't calculate how long it takes to get over someone,be it your ex or not.It really depends on the person,what they went through in the relationship, and how much one wants to forget. Break ups could hurt like hell has shoved something sharp up your ass...but no matter how bad it gets...you still find yourself smiling thinking about the good memories. The first kiss, the late dinners, driving around to nowhere, and the air kelapa by the lake.

dedicated to those who believe. My baby, my lover, and my bestfriend.

-dhn-

Party Plan??: Drag Disco Prom!

Sleeping Beauty & The City (14/2)

2007-02-26T20:25:00.000-08:00

On a dark starry night, it would be impossible not to get ASTRO coverage. So the inner child of an 18 year old watched Rocko's Modern Life (it was an episode about fairytale spoofs) as she enjoyed a hot cup of tea and a bowl of ice cream. After watching it, it reminded her of the simpler times in life where she spent most of her time next to her prince charming who owned a black proton saga,equipped with what she would call "overused speakers", driving around the lands (Serdang, Damansara, Bangsar,Kepong,etc) . Those were the days she thought, but since life isnt a cartoon, it was too good to last forever.

The whole concept of "once upon a time" and"happily ever after" clearly is over-rated and is highly exposed to children making them think that they're lives will be filled with happily ever afters. I remember when i was younger, i used to sit by my window and wait for my prince charming on a whit horse to climb into my room and rescue me, where we would see the world and he would spoil me with love and jewellery. At that time, i used to imagine that character being payed by Nick Carter (mind you this was when i was 9 years old. Backstreet Boys was IN then). At the age of 12, i had my FIRST prince charming. He couldnt have been any cuter than he was, enjoyed wrestling (at that age who didnt?), and was a supporter for Newcastle. We did the typical first-timer couple things like making his class mate run up and down the stairs passing our notes, spend time on the phone getting to know each other, and pretending not to look at each other whenever we passed at the corridor. For some strange reason, I thought that would be my happily ever after where i dreamed that i would spend the rest of my life with a very good looking, wrestler and Newcastle loving boy. After 8 months of no progress (no holding hands), the bastard dumped me. I had never felt so angry and humiliated. So that was when it hit me. In reality, sleeping beauty fell into a deep sleep, woke up, got a cab to KL, and got herself a job as a lawyer where she made enough money to have regular visits to the hair salon and Gucci.

People dream that they hit they're happily ever afters once the zsa zsa zsu feeling gets to them. Side effects: They tend to forget about reality, the thing people try so hard to open their eyes to, admitting that shit happens if the relationship ends. Instead they spend hours locked up in the tower, letting their hair grow (split ends never go with anything), and pray hard to God that the recently ex- Prince Charming would come back to rescue them. Unless there's a wicked witch involved (did i say witch? i meant bitch), they need their fairy friends to help them realise that he was just not that into you and you could do so much better than that.

So thats where you get out of the tower and go to the latest gay club, where you can bitch with the other princesses about what an asshole he had been without being bothered by some drunk guy and save up by spending RM25 (including beer) at the door. End the night with having lots of laughs, martinis, loss of calories, and thoughts in the mind whether the cute guy you were dancing with was bisexual or not.

That's the kind of happily ever after i'm looking for. A friend of mine believes that it exists somewhere in this universe. Its kinda comforting to hear especially after a breakup. Because it will always remind you that somewhere in this city, there's a guy out there sitting by the bar who's going to ask for your number...and who knows? you could even end up having a few free drinks.=)

-This post was meant for Valentine's Day. Wishing you guys a very belated one,despite the fact that i dont believe in it. Its only a way to get people to buy hallmark cards and what nots. seriously people,next time save your money!

jimak dan bandaraya

2007-02-22T00:53:00.000-08:00

dont get thrown off by the title of my blog.i got that got off my very own stampford blatch...he usually translates what i want to say in Bahasa Melayu.i suppose you can figure out from there that my Malay is not as great.it takes me forever to read a malay novel (the ones taught in highschools) and all my B.M. teacher could do was look at me and say "are you sure youre Malaysian?" isk isk isk...tak boleh diharapkan.i was surprised i didnt have to re-sit my B.M. SPM paper.i got lucky.hee...

this is an introduction to my new blog.i hope you have a good time reading it (for those who do) as i hope i will have a good time writing it.but dont be surprised if there were to be gap days for the posts.i have limited internet connections.and its not like streamyx is making life that easier.luckily,its not too cloudy outside.it is currently 7.26 am.i am still awake since the day before and i cant afford to sleep or i know my sleeping clock will get screwed up again (i have tried alot of times to get my sleeping pattern back into order).how does one stay up this late?spend the night at your friends' place,update on the latest gossips,finish the pack of ciggies after having it last for 3 days,and pray to God that your eyes dont get square after hours of looking at the computer or watching sex & the city dvd set marathon.we did that a few nights back.ha..=)

i hope to grow as i publish this blog.in writing and in life.they say that as you get older you become wiser.i have met a 28 year old guy who just cant seem to get a clue,a man of 23 who still thinks he's better than everyone,and an 18 year old...who acts like a man but somewhere in his shell is still a child.i dont mean to sound a tad sexist but the usual issue in a girl/woman's life is about a guy.true or false?

today's horoscope for saggitarius' on friendster is:

If you think you can fake your way through an intimidating situation today, you are in for an unpleasant surprise! You cannot bluff your way into confidence right now, so don't even try. It's wisest to frankly admit any anxieties or insecurities you have today. If you let everyone involved know that you might be feeling like a fish out of water, they will respect you for it. A key mark of intelligence is knowing when you don't know something -- and admitting it.

i usually dont believe in horoscopes.i've read before that i would get into a serious relationship by the time i turn 17...i ended up with 3 heartbreaks.no serious relationships included.however i have to make this horoscope an exception.theyre somewhat accurate in whats going on in my life.coincidence?most likely.but i believe in feng shui.maybe they got it off from a lilian too talk show.i was told from a friend that the 2006 will be an unlucky year for those who were born in the year of the dragon.true said.all year round...drama drama drama.about a week ago,my mum confronted me on why i seemed so miserable.then she decided to shed a little light of hope by mentioning the feng shui predictions for 2007.those who were born in the year of the dragon will experience prosperity, happiness,and luck.God i hope thats true.as an 18 year old girl,i think im experiencing a bit too much.drama.

back to the horoscope.i have a feeling that might be happening today.i experienced it last weekend.and i seeing as its saturday,i have a feeling there's going to be a certain someone calling me at 10 something am to start fishing something out of me.a thought came into my mind.what does one do when they wish to hide the truth but not to get their ass kicked,but are afraid of the risk of hurting someone?especially when that someone is constantly in denial about alot of things?couldnt think much for an answer at this hour of the day.i just wish i have teh tarik and roti canai now.i am famished!

change of topic: fashion, sexuality, gossip, and the city.

i wont deny that i have alot of gay friends.im glad to say that non of them are afraid of being who they really are.they have to be the few of the funniest,intelligent,stylish and nicest people (despite the fact that theyd bitch about you like crazy if they hated you).haha.just yesterday after performing at the SSU grad night (with the special appearance of DSN-think hard on why) me and my darling divas went out to La Queen at Nouvo to dance even when we're dead tired but managed to pull off the whole "i dont care what you think because we know we're fabulous" attitude!i get my confidence from them.im even planning my first party for them as a practice for me (i want to be an event manager and p.r.) and they will be my test audience because of their most brutal and frank judgements.oh how i love them so!=)

*gay-to-be-happy?* :

i would really love to introduce the world to my darling divas.i have so many of them i just dont know where to start.from there i wont deny that i could possibly be a fag hag...*in denial. haha..well i suppose i will start with my closest.i shall refer to him as cher/paris.he and i are like brother's and sister's/girlfriends.recently opened his tru-est colours to me,i can never doubt his confidence or trust when it comes to everything!i swear, if God made me a gay man id kill for him!hahaha!he is into dancing/choreography and i must say at his age you could see alot of potential in him.we watched an old video of him at the age of 15 and if anyone had to compare him from then and now,you'd be amazed with how much he has developed his skills in just a few years.he is your fashionable all rounder...manages to look pretty and handsome at the same time!that is a compliment i must say...not alot of people could pull that off!his hair is somewhat the shorter and more shampoo commercial looking than mine (including killer legs than mine ok?thank you very much) =) but enough about cher/paris for now.im sure he'd flare to the max if he reads this!takde makna k?his self confidence is already high enough to make my friend greg (6 ft 2) look like a midget.ahah...=)

second!: he is known as the Beyonce of KL by dj ivan. great dancer...although uncle lan (cher's driver) said that he had to melentik abit more manlier during dance practice in shah alam. haha!but i think these two boys can pull of PCD's Buttons hell of alot better than real girls!hehehe...makes me jealous everytime they perform without me!mak pun nak cuba nok!ehehe...so anyways...he is one frank and sarcastic guy...uptill a point where you wouldnt even realise if he was being serious or not!hehehe...forever eating...but manages to look thinner than anyone i know...cacing?hahaha...jangan sentap sayang...you were at one point the thinnest among EVERYONE in r&p.now youre competing with cher...ahahahha...

third!: stampford blatch isnt his real name...but fashion is definitely his game...one of the few people i know who could tell the difference between original and faux,the only person i know who visits channel.com and he never fails to crack us up...i would probably marry him to avoid doing fashion dont's after he informed us of a bargain he made yesterday when he bought a suit for less than rm200!linen or cotton im not too sure,right choice of colour,absolutely fabulous and at such a good price!i wouldnt mind paying him to make me look good...=)

conclusion: this is exactly what every girl needs- funny, stylish, brutally honest, sarcastic, bitchy ,sampoerna smoking, and confident gay friends to keep them going in life. its even funner when they say, "why do men suck?" or come up with the most creative and craziest ideas like throwing sexy parties and video taping our own versions of tv series opening?harus lah buat sex & the city and desperate housewives kan? I WANNA BE GABRIELLA SOLIS!hehehehe...i love you divas like crazy...in my eyes you will ALWAYS be in the running to become America's Next Top Models.=D

the sun is already out...

currently on playlist: Groove Armada- Supertylin'

dear God...i have to get ready in a bit...6 hours of auditioning people for this dance series (an interesting concept).yet i still refuse to let go of my bantal busuk...(admit it,everybody has/had it ok?) i dread working on weekends.they better pay well enough for me to buy a new pair of shoes.im getting quite the out of season lorh...sexy pair of heels or sleek flats?i cant seem to decide...but i ONLY have like...9 pairs of sexy heels...do i even have to ask myself that question?i choose SEXY HEELS!

next post: why drag queen? what is the definition? why do women tend to be in the "in denial" state of mind? cute or sexy shoes? relationships (over-rated?) etc. etc.

-dhn-